For lastvoyages: Journal Entry 48 [video]

[nolongerhollow]

[Dracula is sitting at his desk, which has a substantial pile of library books and papers on it. The candles are all lit and the fire stoked, giving a good view of him. He is in his shirtsleeves and a smart dark blue vest in very subtle brocade. His expression is fairly pleasant, and his eyes, once vacant, now sparkle with curiosity and liveliness.]

When he left a friend of mine bequeathed me with a substantial portion of his motion picture collection. Of course, they involved a number of vampire movies, most of which are quite amusing. These, however, I have not seen yet. [He picks up a jewel case marked MST3K]. And apparently they are very amusing indeed.

Besides making the collection available for Movie Nights, I was wondering if anyone would like to join me for a viewing in the eighth floor common room once the proper arrangements are made?

Oh, and hello to any newcomers. I am Count Vladislaus Dracula...although chances are that I am not the man whom you associate with that name. 

Comments

[una_persson]

Hello, Vladislaus.

[nolongerhollow]

Una! Hello again. How have you been doing?

I have been...going through the typical Barge growing pains. No regrets, however.

[una_persson]

I've been quite well. On holiday, for all intents and purposes. I've missed your Romanian songs.

[nolongerhollow]

[He laughs, and then cheerfully belts one out for her. Sober.]

[una_persson]

[Grin, applause.]

Wonderful as ever.

[nolongerhollow]

I have to admit that knowing you has inspired me. I wish to go adventuring on different worlds once I graduate. I will return to work, but the idea of learning and working here and there, visiting old friends...well. My mind has been opened to the possibilities.

[una_persson]

It can be a very rewarding path. Not without its hazards, but there is much to be experienced if you have the wherewithal.

And it pleases me, you know, to hear you talking about graduation in terms of "when".

[nolongerhollow]

I have the rest of eternity for it, and I am very tough. Though part of me longs to settle in one place and rebuild my society.

And indeed, I think it is only a matter of when. There are a few things to go through, but I...understand so much more now.

[death_becomes]

[In a voice holding much disdain.] Are you associated with Vampirella?

[nolongerhollow]

No, madame, I have never even heard the name before. Has she offended you in some way?

[death_becomes]

Yes, she is a vile and loathsome wench.

[nolongerhollow]

I am sorry that you have been inconvenienced. I assure you however...no relation. I don't really do vile and loathsome anymore.

[death_becomes]

Yes. Though possessing the same Sire, I suspect you are not the Count I am most familiar with. If I do say so, I find you much more becoming on the eyes, my Lord.

[nolongerhollow]

Well, I'm most heartened to hear that, provided that my more obnoxious parallel isn't a pile of tentacles or something. [He laughs lightly and his eyes twinkle flirtatiously.]

It always bothers me when I discover that some version of me has caused trouble for others. Like letting that book get published. It is like having a twin you wish you'd killed in the womb.

[death_becomes]

[Oh, Lady D likes this one very much.]

Where exactly are you, my Lord? Not terribly far, I hope?

[Her expression goes sour and she says with distaste:] Yes, I myself am familiar with less than desirable others. My bane would be Lady Demon.

[nolongerhollow]

Please, it's just Vlad. Especially in your case. I exist currently on an extradimensional vessel where I just spent the last year growing out of my "annoyingly amoral power-mad immortal" phase. I will soon come to work here, and those who do have access to any world within reason.

There is nothing for these obnoxious doubles except for making it clear how different we are from them. Unless of course they present themselves for a beating....

[death_becomes]

Vlad, then. A pleasure.

Unfortunately, my twin is within myself. A demon conjured forth for Lucifer's pleasures and ill-doing.

[nolongerhollow]

...oh.

I have a demonic force in my head, but I will be evicting him soon.

[death_becomes]

However shall you be accomplishing that?

[nolongerhollow]

Ritual purification. It won't be pleasant, but if I can get through this I can do anything.

[death_becomes]

[Lady Death wants to know more, her look that of someone very much intrigued, but before she can ask the how's and what's, the transmission cuts to white static before simply fading to black.]

[colormejellerz]

Siri, who made the first vampire a vampire?

[nolongerhollow]

On my world, it was the Devil. The first vampire was me.

[frickinbaretta]

Glad you liked what you saw; I mean, I know most of 'em are kinda crap, but. That's why they're good sometimes, you know?

[Pause. Right. Greeting first might have been better.]

Hey, man.

[nolongerhollow]

Actually yes. Any motion picture can become amusing if you walk into it with an open mind and a good sense of humor. Though some of those fellows genuinely had some talent. Lugosi, for example.

How have you been? [The difference in Drac is so drastic that it's like looking at a human who just happens to have weird coloring.]

[frickinbaretta]

...and then you get Plan 9, which is just fun 'cause it's so fucking terrible. But yeah, I mean...that guy? Classic. The Hollywood version never woulda been half as decent without him.

[A shrug.] Alright, I guess. [It's complicated.] You look like you're doing fan-fucking-tastic though.

[nolongerhollow]

I loved Plan 9. It was like a play where everything goes wrong and yet you'd still like to drink with the cast after.

Lugosi was an actual national of my country. Did not look much like me, but the voice is dead on. And if anything he comes off as more dignified than I perhaps deserve.

I am...it is getting done. It is. Soon I will be working here. In between I would like to visit, if you'll have me. I will cause you no trouble. I am thinking movies, beer and jokes mostly.

[frickinbaretta]

Well it's Hollywood, they're pretty into making things more serious than they should be.

Glad to hear it, man. That's...you deserve that, shit you've been through. You've welcome to visit whenever you want, although...couldn't tell you how good company I'd be, shit kinda got all kinds of fucked up 'cause I left. Might not remember you. I mean...don't let that stop you or anything, we'd get along just fine either way, but...Just thought you should know.

[Don't ask him how he's here now and remembers everything, he couldn't really tell you. Barge weirdness.]

[nolongerhollow]

Speaking of Hollywood, we went through a Breach where we all turned into actors playing us as roles. I turned into this very fun Australian fellow named Richard. Reminded me of you a bit. Loved popular culture, comics, movies. If I could be anyone for another weekend I think I'd like to be him.

[He looks concerned.] That's all right. If it happens, I'll just reintroduce myself and pay for the beers.

[bat_hug]

[Ultrasonic clicks, and then a string of similarly-pitched chatter that has a definite lingual component to it. A moment later, the translator at the large bat's neck outputs, cheerfully:]

Hello, Count. You are in our communications feed! Quite unexpected. But with winds from the equator even catchbirds are fed.

[This last said as if it is a common idiom. None of her colleagues know if she's cryptic intentionally or if it's just a translator glitch.]

[nolongerhollow]

[So. Cute. He blinks for a moment, charmed, and then shrugs and goes to stand on the ceiling so he can address her eye to eye.] Hello! Yes, I enjoy these events very much. It allows me to communicate with an amazing array of new people.

[bat_hug]

[Delightful! So few hominids appreciate what it means to rest right side up.]

It is our second, this ship, our engineering staff are not pleased. But I can possibly be persuaded to allow this unruly network traffic. I can be bribed, ask Chief Stildyne.

[She sounds cheerful enough about this that any implied censure is probably ironic. Irony being the mother tongue of Ragnarok, after all.]

I am Second Officer of JFS Ragnarok, and my name is [a series of ultrasonic tones that don't translate at all]. But by hominids called 'Two'. You are not a standard hominid, I think? Most I know go red in the facial membranes when they hang for long.

[nolongerhollow]

Oh, you're Stildyne's crewmate! I believe he mentioned you. A pleasure to meet you.

No, I am...

[How to explain it in scientific terms?]

My people have a human base, but bear a...what is the word...symbiont which empowers us but comes at a cost. Side effects include sensitivity to sunlight and drastic alterations of our internal systems.

[bat_hug]

He has spoken? I am pleased. Unless there was censure. Then it is all false. I am a much put-upon old woman.

[If you can trust the translator-- or hear the superaudible range-- she sounds very playful.]

I do not the medical complexities grasp. But you are excellent company. You have excellent manners. [She unfurls her wing-- vast, to support a slightly-under-human sized bulk in the middle, and taps a key with her wing-knuckles, pulling a few files that play out as low-volume ultrasonic; informational.] Do you fly as well as hang?

[nolongerhollow]

[He can hear her, all right, but he doesn't have the power to answer back properly. A bit like a first year language student.]

Thank you very much. [The corners of his eyes crinkle.] As races we do seem to have characteristics in common. I do have a form of flight, yes, though it does not involve wings anymore.

[bat_hug]

No wings? [A touch of grandmotherly scandalization.] How do you catch thermals, it is ridiculous. Very silly.

[One of her dark, unfocused eyes blinks alone. It may be a wink. She may have had an itch.]

[nolongerhollow]

I know, I know. But my people are rather obnoxious when it comes to breaking basic laws of physics. As for riding thermals, they feel good and the company is good. Especially on some planets, apparently.

[bat_hug]

[There's a modulated ultrasonic shrill, her tongue coming out to rasp along her white teeth, but the translator can't make anything out of laughter.]

Yes yes. Come visit; we have deep caves, room for guests. I have many grandchildren. They are young and know where the thermals have shifted. The will show you to play.

[You're adorable, right-side-up no-winged hominid! You should certainly visit.]

[nolongerhollow]

I would love a chance to play with the little ones. Honestly I could use the practice. I aim to be a father someday.

So yes, I shall ask about specifics from your crewmate when I am ready, and send you a message.

[bat_hug]

[A chitter of pleasure.] Splendid. Delightful. Our Chief is useful after all, he has run off, he still has his uses.

[She sounds absolutely friendly about it.]

[nolongerhollow]

Oh, I imagine he will be back fairly soon relative your time. Time works a bit differently here.

I would invite you to my home but I...must rebuild it first.

[bat_hug]

Has he not said? Shocking. Not to be borne. Secretive. We have parted ways with our Chief before he came away to your untidy ship. He is missed. Do not tell him so. It will go to his head.

You must visit. In time perhaps also I will? Are there juicy thermals, this is the question.

[nolongerhollow]

He has? Oh, I did not know.

Well, that is a bit of a surprise, yes. But it won't deter me from coming around!

[bat_hug]

Splendid. Send word.

The chief hasn't got a Cousin. The Cousin will get us a message.

[She trills approvingly at him.]

Two away.

[hasacoupon]

[Oh, god, Vladislaus. I hope you enjoy the guy in the costume store cape speaking in the really hideous faux Romanian accent.]

How ridiculous. Why, there is only one Count Vladislaus Dracula and you are not him.

[nolongerhollow]

[Slow blink. Several rapid blinks. He opens his mouth. Closes it. Then fights down a bout of snickering.]

Don't tell me that you've been taken in by that wanky fake who helped Stoker publish that foul novel.